Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in derelict17's LiveJournal:

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Saturday, June 2nd, 2007
2:42 pm	an old friend Yesterday a good friend of mine passed away due to cancer. She had been fighting the cancer for a couple years, but it proved to be too much. The saddest part of it all is that she was only 23, and had so much potential and enthusiasm for life. She always said that she would be president someday, and I believed her. But she never got the chance to fulfill her dreams. There were some things that I wanted to tell her, but I never did. Now it is too late. I can only hope that she knew these things that I wished her to know. She has influenced and inspired me, and my life is better because of knowing her. I will always miss her, and will keep fondly the memories that we once shared. (Comment on this)
Sunday, February 18th, 2007
7:58 pm	I got to play the Nintendo Wii yesterday...I must say that it is fascinating...actually being able to swing your arm and interact physically with a video game...and get a workout while having fun. i would consider investing in one, but i have other things that I hope to do with my money. I have a GRE study book, so i am looking to study and get the GRE's out of the way in the next couple months...then, if all goes well and i have money saved up from working, i might spend a month or two on the appalachian trail. One week on there last May wasn't enough...the drive to hike more is calling me back...and why not, before i lock myself into two to four years of graduate school...might as well make the most out of my youth and freedom before I work 40 hour weeks for the rest of my life. I know that day is coming soon, but I am going to try my damndest to make the best out of the few years i have left. Hopefully I will get to instruct at the field station in montana again this summer, but i guess that is still up in the air. in other news, i walked across the pond again today...gotta love this cold weather. I also busted my ass (and hand and knee) slipping on some ice down by the creek...it was totally worth it though. so long for now. (Comment on this)
Sunday, December 10th, 2006
8:29 pm	heat! crazy dreams last night - riding an office chair down a steep road. i ended up installing a heating vent in my bedroom today...tapped into the main ducts. a lot of duct tape and a plastic trash bag. its a little crooked in the ceiling tile, but that doesn't bother me much. i would upload a picture of it, but i doubt anyone really cares what it looks like..i know i don't. I also uploaded a demo of a new song onto the music page of my website. i am going to re-record the whole thing, but the demo gives an idea of what it will sound like. on another note, i recently realized that my ideas for christmas presents isnt going to work how i had originally planned, so i either have to improvise or scrap the idea all together. christmas is too stressful. anyway, thats all for now. take care. (Comment on this)
Saturday, December 9th, 2006
5:27 pm	everything has fallen back into place again. the rifts that have been present for the last few months have smoothed themselves out to a tolerable level. and while some things were lost, i think i came out of the whole thing a better person. as long as we grow from our experiences in life, it is worth something. other than that, ive just been working a lot on the studio addition and in bloomington. we have started roofing, and that isnt too bad...actually one of the more enjoyable aspects of the project thus far. and also i am regaining my creative aspect which was absent during my bouts of depression of recent months. now that everything is figured out, i can get back to being myself. doing things i enjoy and creating. i overhauled my webpage, at least the index, and i should be adding things and making updates frequently...so check if out if you desire - www.andrewgustin.com ... and damn, its getting cold outside. i need to run a heating duct into my bedroom, because three blankets just don't cut it anymore. anyway, more updates later. take care journal world. Current Mood: content (Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 8th, 2006
11:23 pm	once in the backyard, she was once like me. she was once like me. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, September 7th, 2006
10:12 pm	sea urk out of misery comes the greatest motivation. to change things and make them better. sometimes it happens that you dont even have to be trying...it just becomes. you find what you need, when you need it. very seldom do places and times work in such perfect harmony...but time is a work all in itself. nothing remains that cannot be discovered. this is a fresh beginning. i hope the knots will work ends out and clairify the reality...but as of now i have everything i need to be content. (Comment on this)
Sunday, August 13th, 2006
10:04 pm	life is an everchanging story. nothing remains the same. lovers and friends fade away...and new ones are found. its a sad but true fact. opinions and tastes evolve. today i love foods that i swore a year ago i never would. i have lost touch with friends i swore i would always talk to. i guess there are two approaches to things like this. you can fear and dread the change, or embrace it and make the best of it. a year ago, i realized that i didn't really talk to anyone from the first 14 years of my life, before i moved to brown county. and even more recently, i have come to realize that i dont really talk to anyone from high school now. the only people i still actively see and socialize with i have met since college has started. i guess that goes to show how i have changed since ive been in college. the people that know me now know someone with a matured and evolved mentality. that isnt to say that in high school and before i wasnt myself, because you are always yourself. i guess it is just that who i am has changed. and while i think i have changed for the better, i am sure 10 different people would say 10 different things. nobody will ever agree, for it is merely opinions, and each opinion is different and unique. i am fairly content with the people that i have in my life right now. they understand and appreciate me for who i am. and while i am sad to lose the people that i have lost throughout the years, i cannot sit and mourn those losses. they have changed too, and i guess we just changed from the same direction and mentality into two totally different directions. people are never who you think they are. everyone keeps part of themselves hidden from the world for some time. and when that part is exposed, you see that they have never been who you thought they were. i am glad to have the friends that i have, and hope that the friends that i have lost along the way will someday consider the concept that their opinions too can change, and maybe their opinion on the things which caused them to no longer wish to have a friendship with me in the past may be different now. i am not sure if that really makes sense to me, let alone anyone reading this, but its the best i can do. take care. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, August 10th, 2006
8:42 pm	i returned from a month in montana yesterday. i have been so used to using the computer for 5 minutes a day, some days none at all, that i cannot find anything to do on the computer anymore. i was able to spend 30 minutes earlier checking my mail, and 45 minutes just now chatting and such, but i guess i am just bored with it all now. im sure in another week i will be gingerly wasting my time online. i move back out to brown county tomorrow...and fly out for oregon with my family on tuesday for a week. montana was a life changing experience, once again. it never fails to update and revamp my perspective. memories and digital photographs never fade away. (Comment on this)
Thursday, June 29th, 2006
2:34 pm	So i am a bit of a nerd. i spend a good portion of my day reading news stories and studies online through my personalized google homepage. anyway, i was reading a story from psychology today about men and women being just friends. The story can be found here if you would like to read it yourself. anyway, the article is pretty interesting, but it wasn't until the end where they posted the results of a survey that i saw any sort of staggering result: Is it possible to fall in love with someone who first enters your life as a friend? Yes: 94% No: 4% Unsure: 2% the mass of the public believes that two friends can fall in love. no wonder why in our times of loneliness we turn to our friends. i almost would argue that it is better when a friendship turns into something romantic. but i guess the way the question is phrased, it is hard to answer no. anything is possible. everything changes. Current Mood: calm (Comment on this)
10:52 am	once cool, now annoying the bloomington or statewide cops have decided to hijack the stadium lot across the street to do some training. the first night that they had the cones set up, some cops were practicing the course at 2 in the morning. the past two days, they have been running their drills and squealing their tires, firing their blank rounds and shouting at the fake perp to drop his weapon. that was all fine and good and tolerable, but this morning they went overboard. They have the cop cars doing drills with the sirens on today, and they keep doing it over and over again. The siren isnt the gradual high low siren, but rather a high frequency high pitched chirp over and over again. It prevented me from dreaming lucidly tonight, and i am disappointed, annoyed, and otherwise frustrated with my apartments location this summer. good thing i am nearly ready to move out. my computer is sitting on the floor now, with the monitor propped up on a little wooden crate. bare bones, if you will. i leave a week from saturday, ive gotta get ready. anyway, if anyone is interested in reading my dream journal of dreams that i actually do remember, which didn't happen this morning due to the stupid fucking pigs sounding their sirens time and time again, you can do so at http://derelict17.dreamjournal.net/ ... enjoy. time to flip off the cops as i walk to work. (Comment on this)
Sunday, June 11th, 2006
11:34 pm	I went out to brown county to the rents today, had to dig a trench for driveway drainage and purge all my childhood memories. on the way out i was driving through belmont on the way to nashville and i saw an old man hitchhiking from a parking lot. I passed him but thought better of it, turned around, came back, and got him. when i was on the trail i hitchhiked into town, and i remember how it is needing a ride. Turns out this guy is homeless, his name is keith, and he is from bedford. he is just kinda wandering around the area, was trying to make it to columbus or greenwood. he was wearing a purple shirt and grey pants. he had a very strong odor to him initially, the bum smell, if you will. he had no backpack or bag with him, but carried what appeared to be a battery powered radio. i told him about hiking the trail, and he seemed interested since there were places to stay, and it was free. he asked me if i knew a church that would rent him a motel for a night...i told him that i didnt know of many churches because i dont generally go, and he said he wasnt going to either because they only talk about people and places and events now, and no longer preach the word of god. i told him that there might be a hostel in columbus that he could stay at, to which he replied that he wouldnt want to, because those places are run over by mexicans and he didn't want to be associated with that crowd, because they cause problems. he continued to rant about how they are trying to make america mexican and they want us to learn their language. after this he said, kinda like the blacks tried to do. he cried of how blacks still try to hold something against us for slavery. i had to reply to this, so i said that i didn't know if i agreed, and that he was taking actions of a few people and using them to stereotype a specific race. he said something about how martin luthur king jr. had a dream for blacks to take over the country, to which i replied that no, he just wanted equal rights for blacks. By this time he said that he didn't want to talk about it anymore, and we were pulling in to nashville. he thanked me for giving him a ride, and i let him off on the shoulder across the street from speedway. i think he was going to try to go to the local church and ask them to buy him a motel. crazy bastard. thats what i get for giving rides to strange old men. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, June 10th, 2006
1:11 am	rumble of a standard window unit, but not placed in the window but rather fit in the wall. stirring occasionally, just like that package of pasta i cooked this morning. and the tuna was a nice match. no more peach tonight. just a mini-nalgene or two. grumble no longer covers nasal rumble, but i am fine with a little white noise. grey, maybe. leche de dulce, o el otro. ah, the skin grows thicker. excellent. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 7th, 2006
4:13 pm	an added perk - in the past week or so, i have discovered an added perk to my walk to and from work. in addition to being the shortest and flattest path, with the least amount of traffic, my route to the railroad tracks takes me past a yard with two blackberry bushes, a cherry tree, and a crab apple tree hanging over the road where i walk. i get myself a nice little fruit snack on my way to and fro. and i might add that the cherries are freaking delicious. (Comment on this)
Thursday, June 1st, 2006
10:33 pm	abroad there is no greater experience than travelling. i just returned from a three week trip. the first 10 days were dedicated to dissecting the metamorphic and orogenic history of the appalachian mountains. we saw a lot of amazing places in pennsylvania, new york, connecticut, massacheusets, and rhode island. the 10 days got a little less enjoyable toward the end, due to horrible weather (5 days straight of raining and flooding), a slightly annoying professor, and myself doing poorly and losing interest in learning now that i had finally graduated. regardless, i toughed it out and ended up getting an A in the course, and i got the chance to see some cool rocks. on the way back to indiana, i had the caravan drop me off at the deleware water gap, where the Appalachian Trail crosses from PA to NJ. for the next seven days, i hiked north along the trail, camping under my tarp and sleeping in shelter houses. after going 85 miles and making it a few miles into new york state, i got off the trail and caught a bus into new york city. i stayed at katie's apartment in brooklyn and explored the city alone and with katie for 5 days, and then caught a wretchedly long 16 hour greyhound bus trip back to indiana. while in new york and on the trial, i met a number of interesting people...some crazy folk on the trial, and more so in the city. it has really given me a chance to reflect on the past four years of my life and helped me to try to figure out what it is i want/need to do with my immediate future. i am starting to think that i might have some sort of idea. this was an amazing trip, and it has given me a new perspective on a lot of things. (Comment on this)
Thursday, April 27th, 2006
11:26 am	sorry, its a chimera, not a chimer...still chimerism though. (Comment on this)
11:24 am	So i'm bad...my last calculus discussion ever, and i am skipping. i had somewhat of a good reason though...I had to edit a geophysics paper that we are working on as a class...it is due this afternoon, and i have a four hour class at 1. anyway. yesterday, i watched a few very interesting shows, but perhaps the most intriguing was one about chimerism. if you are unfamiliar with this word, chimerism is the scientific name for a person or animal who has two distinct genetic codes. two different sets of DNA. It is caused by two fertilized eggs fusing together very very early in the embryo development. The result is two different genetic codes in one person. A rare example of chimerism had a baby that had a line down the middle of his chest. on the left side, he was black, and on the right he was white. He had male organs on the left side, and female on the right...The show went on to discuss the case where a mother was not genetically linked to her sons. The DNA code of her hair and skin and blood was different than the DNA code in her ovaries. So, a very large number of people in this world could be chimers, and have two different sets of DNA, and never know...because to realize this a number of tests have to be performed and different organs have to be tested...its kind of a cool and kind of a scary concept that we could all have two different people inside of us. On another note, I was finally able to remember part of my dream last night. I was playing cards with a few people, and the object of the game was to lay down a higher card than the last person. whenever my turn came, a 4 was the card that I had to beat. when i laid my card down, it said F on it. I was confused, but thought that F was higher than 4, but the people i was playing against told me that I lost. I should have realized i was in a dream and started dreaming lucidly, but instead, i woke up. shucks. well, i better make some food and get ready for class. take care. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 25th, 2006
1:18 am	cant go wrong with sufjan. the seven swans album is growing on me quick. i have been keeping a dream journal for a couple months now...writing down anything i can remember from dreams that i have. but since i watched a movie called waking life, which is essentially about lucid dreaming, i haven't been able to recall more than the vaiguest of details. for the past two weeks, the only thing i remember about any of my dreams is that in one i was driving down an interstate. for awhile i was able to recall two to three different dreams a night. i'm not sure if my recent inability is somehow oddly tied to the movie, or if it is just because of increased stress. probably the latter. i have recently become more fond of watching television, something that i seldomly do. i have become less social too. i guess whenever i know i am getting ready to leave, i distance myself from most people. i suppose its just my way of dealing with change. when all is said and done, i'll be back. indiana is my home, but the world is my backyard. (Comment on this)
Monday, April 24th, 2006
7:41 pm	i had an earth day conversation today with my dear friend jenny. she asked me if i did anything for earth day, and i replied that i cleaned my apartment...so on the day that i should have honored the earth, i added chemicals to the water and threw away several bags of garbage. but i dont feel bad...outside of my apartment, 10000 college kids drank unimaginable amounts of beer and left their garbage everywhere. since earth day and little 5 overlapped, the attention of the town was turned away from the earth and towards ingesting alcohol. The next day bloomington was in pretty sad shape...there were bottles and cans in yards and gutters and parking lots everywhere. So my proposed solution - move earth day to some time in august, since it is the only month without a holiday, and also the month of my birth. although i guess around here it is miserable weather for being outdoors that time of year...muggy and hot. oh well. i guess we just have to add a "fuck the" before "earth day". THIRTEEN DAYS. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, April 22nd, 2006
8:57 pm	it is the biggest college weekend in the country...little 5. if you live anywhere near me, you are a fool to not know this...there are people everywhere in the streets, on the sidewalks, sitting by the back of their cars, its chaos...partys everywhere. so on this big party weekend, i decided to be uninterested in the shit going on around me...last night i played tennis with greggy and rosy and vfell...doubles is wild. never played it before. today i did some running around the stadium, and then got some crazy inspiration to clean my apartment. four hours later, and i can finally consider it done. but its only 9...ive got a whole night behind me. maybe i will do some partying? only time will tell. anyway, im going to bask in the cleanliness of my apartment. later. (Comment on this)
Thursday, April 20th, 2006
10:28 pm	prehistoric dragonflies happy 420 everyone. today was long...up at 10 to meet with the geophysics professor, calc quiz, four hour GIS class, a short newsom-beck burrito break, and then 2.5 hours of group paper writing with the lizzzzard. i got an email about a job offer in virginia today...I would be going out mapping...it really is pretty close to my idea job. so i am going to fill out the resume and send that in...gotta have a mongolia backup plan. it really almost seems unreal that in two weeks i will no longer be a college student. i dont know if i am ready to grow up this fast. give me a fifth year...ha. i might end up coming back for a semester so that insurance will cover me having another operation on my leg...otherwise it would be ridiculiously expensive. i dunno...thats all too far down the road...i have to make it through the semester and the summer first. im gonna go fill out the application. take care. (Comment on this)